So I’ve been mulling for a while now on what exactly my inaugural post would entail. Because this, as we all know, will not only set the tone for every update to come, but also my future career as a blogger and therefore my get rich quick plan C.
I thought about discussing my alternative version of Dante’s consecutive circles of hell. I’ve come to realize in my short life time that there are few places on this earth more soul crushing than Detroit’s airport, any DMV anywhere at any time, the post office on 113th between Amsterdam and Columbus and finally the place that all of these locations aspire to be…. The Mobile Department of Health.
The Mobile Department of Health smells like death. It has that acrid musty smell that sticks to most nursing homes. Every time I return I think that this is it, this will be the day that I get useful service with a smile, like at a Chick-Fil-A where everyone is eternally happy to help you. But no, the MDH is the McDonald’s of health establishments
Besides getting vaccinated I thought I would maybe spend my last days doing really American/Southern things like hunting and frying.
Instead I have found myself doing the most American thing of all…buying tons of shit I THINK I need for this trip but that I’ll probably never use.
Extremely ugly hiking sandals-check!
Exercise bands-check!
DEET-check!
In other news it is exactly one week till d-day and I am STILL without a visa and now “anxiety help” is following me on Twitter.
*Special thanks to Nicholas Palmaro for providing me with my brilliant blog title
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