Monday, November 29, 2010

First World Third World Thanksgivings

This weeks 1st world/3rd world has arrived a bit late. This is mostly due to the fact that I
spent most of the Thanksgiving holiday fulfilling my 20,000 leagues under the sea fantasy. But more about that later. For now enjoy this little tidbit inspired by a story one of my professors at Columbia used to tell all the time about his time doing research in Java.


1st World Problem: I got to the farmer's market too late and now they are all out of organic free range turkeys. I guess i'll have to buy a generic organic turkey from the grocery store.


3rd World Problem: We consider turkeys pets so I guess we'll have to cook the dog.


Hope you had a happy Friday!

*the region in which I spent Thanksgiving does in fact eat dog meat. They call it Ar.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I'm sorry but are you old enough to drive?


         My colleagues at school have taken to calling me hitam manis or “black sweetness” as they translate it. Apparently this isn’t a term of endearment my cab driver came up with, but rather a widely acknowledged phrase. They also like to say things like “ you look like President Obama’s daughter!” followed by a chorus of cantik cantik “ beautiful beautiful”. I would find this incredibly offensive  (What, all black people look alike?! Why can’t I just be sweetness, why does it have to be black?!) if

A.)Being called beautiful, even when I’m dripping sweat and there are bags under my eyes, wasn’t an awesome ego boost
B.)They weren’t so sincere
C.) If the whole situation wasn’t so incredibly ridiculous

           In other news I’ve been riding the pedi-pedi a lot more than usual. Pedi-pedi are the Indonesian public transportation du-jour, and for some reason I’m trying to save money.  These little vehicles go all over the city only cost about 3,000 Rp.or about 3 cents per ride. Now imagine a mini-van for tiny people, with all of the seats taken out. Instead of seats they feature little benches that line three walls of the van. Since Makassar is a big fancy city, many of the pedi-pedi feature such gems as disco balls, black lights and giant subwoofers that blast all sorts of music at ear-piercing level. Looking for seatbelts and a functioning door? Sorry those have been removed for efficiencies’ sake.  

        Also I’m pretty sure the average age of the drivers are somewhere between 13 and 17. You think I’m kidding, but I’m completely serious. Also I’m pretty sure most of these adolescent drivers learned their craft by playing hours upon hours of Grand Theft Auto. I also can’t seem to figure out the routes to save my life. As a result, I often end up on the wrong pedi-pedi and a journey that should have taken 30 minutes will end up being an hour and 30 minutes. On the bright side I’m getting a chance to practice my Bahasa Indonesia and I’m becoming more exposed to the Indonesian hairstyle I have deemed the “pullet” or “partial mullet”. A pullet is about 80% business in the front and about 30% party in the back. Think of a rat tail, but thicker and longer. Many of the pedi-pedi drivers I have come in contact with sport this particular style and some sort of Jafar-esque facial hair. If they’re old enough to grow facial hair. I often think about the many ways I could die in this country. Morbid I know, but it makes me feel prepared. The pedi-pedi have moved to the top of the list followed by “hit by a car while walking”, “malaria”, “heat stroke” and “attacked by feral cats”. However, I’m earning mad respect from my security guards, and honestly that’s all that counts.  

Thursday, November 18, 2010

First World Third World Fridays

Without further delay, the return of timely first world third world Fridays.

First world problem: The waiting list for the dog therapist is 6 months long, but Princess Applethorpe really needs to start dealing with her issues now.

Third world problem: My new puppy bit my hand. She hasn't had her shots because there isn't a vet, so I have to wait 10 days. If she dies I probably have a disease.

*many thanks to Polly for sharing her experience. Coming soon, Brandon's first world third world problems.

Happy Fridays Y'all

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Jacking Off


So I realized that I haven’t really discussed the largest part of what I do here.

You can now gently remove your mind from the gutter…I’m talking about teaching.

I teach roughly 187 students, which is about 10 classes a week, conversational
English as an assistant to my teaching partner. At least that is what it says in my contract. In reality I teach them everything. I teach grammar, pronunciation, writing, American culture and public speaking…and I pretty much do it alone. Although my co-teacher is usually in the room, she is often swamped with administrative work since she speaks the best English at the school. As a result, she has taken my presence here as leave to do everything for the school BUT teach her classes. So all of the lesson planning, material purchasing and classroom management falls to me.

This, of course gives me a great deal of freedom concerning what I want to cover in class, which is awesome. I taught a pretty great lesson on Halloween a few weeks ago where we read together, watched movies, learned the “monster mash” dance, did vocabulary crosswords and trick-or-treated in class.  However it also means that when a group of young girls approach my desk and ask “ what does the American phrase ‘ to jack off’ mean?” …I have to figure out how to field a response on my own. I, assuming they would just Google it later, opted for the truth which then meant that I had to deal with 6 really embarrassed girls afterwards.  Or better yet, how do you respond when a 15 year old boy asks, “ Why do all Americans hate Muslims”?  At least I don’t have to deal with students being possessed by ghosts in class. And yes, this has happened in the classrooms of some of my friends.

Often, while in the process of teaching, I think to myself that I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing. Which, of course I don’t. I didn’t major in education, I wasn’t trained in how to teach English as a second language and the 4 weeks of classes I sat through in Bandung hardly count as training.  And let’s be honest here, who really knows grammar? Who can actually quote rules and explain to 32 eager minds why certain pronouns are used one way and not another?
I don’t.
So now I’ve taken to studying my big book of grammar rules each day, so I can stop blatantly lying to my classes. Yet somehow, someway everyone walks out of my classroom, daily, unscathed and presumably a little smarter. And although I’m developing lines in my face that will have to be botoxed later and I probably sweat out half of  my body weight daily due to my schools distinct lack of air-conditioning…I’m teaching. Which is pretty cool.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

First World Third World....Saturdays...Again!

I really don't have an excuse this week for being late. I've just been lazy.
So without further ado...


First World Problem: The new iphone 4 has really terrible service. I can't ever make calls!

Third World Problem: I have to sell my cellphone to buy plane tickets for my parents so they can get off the volcano that is currently erupting.



Funny but true. This exact situation was shared by a friend. Please keep the people of Sumatra and Central Java in your thoughts

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Pictures Thus Far

So basically Flickr can't handle the volume of awesome photos I've taken so far, without making me pay to upload them. So for those of you who don't have facebook, or whom I've denied friendship because you're too old...here are links to the photos I've taken thus far.

Indonesia Thus Far
Indonesia 2: Domestic Life
Welcome to Gilly T
A Very Toraja Halloween

Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Very Toraja Halloween



This weekend I traded 5 am calls to prayer for 5 am rooster wake-up calls. No I didn’t go native and adopt a rooster ( although upon my return I found out that someone in my little neighborhood did). Instead I hopped an early morning bus and took the eight-hour trip North into the mountains of Tana Toraja to visit my friend Judith for the Halloween weekend. As a former theatre major it probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise that Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.  While the thought of indulging in a True Blood marathon while inhaling coconut cookies wasn’t the worst Halloween weekend I could think of for the weekend, I figured what better time to visit Sulawesi’s capital of Christian/animism/magical practices?
Fittingly, I arrived in the town of Makale in total darkness. The sun sets here around 6 or so do due the whole equator thing, and there are pretty much no streetlights in Makale. None. Good thing I was forewarned to bring my flashlight. This little tidbit will eventually play a major role in causing one of the most terrifying 30 minutes in my life, but that comes a bit later.  Anyway, because of Makale’s anti-illumination policy, it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized Judith lives in a rice field, complete with random buffalo, chicken and pigs wandering around. But she has hot water, which is more than I can say for my fancy little home in the metropolis of Makassar.
Now’s a good time to explain that Toraja is a major tourist destination for buleh ( white people) and Indonesians alike. This  is due not only to the insane natural beauty of the region , replete with amazing hiking and white water rafting, but also because the Torajans know how to throw a funeral. Yes, going to funerals is an enjoyable past time here complete with livestock auctions, ritual animal sacrifices and some of the best pound cake I’ve ever had. Witnessing one of these spectacles has been a goal of mine since I arrived in Indonesia, but seeing as the funeral season begins to taper off in December, my chances were getting slim. Yet it seemed like the Halloween gods were smiling on me because after some snooping around we were informed that day 3 of a funeral ceremony was taking place on Saturday ( funerals can be almost 5 days long) but it wasn’t the “big” day so there wouldn’t be that many people or that much excitement.
Well it turns on a “little” day consists of the ritual sacrifice and dismemberment of 4 water buffalo over 75 attendees with a steady flow of arrivals throughout the day, and a live pig auction.  It should be noted that water buffalo are prized possessions and can cost more than a small car here. So for four to go under the knife at once indicates that the deceased was a pretty important person to the community. While Judith and I arrived a little late for the actual slitting of the throats, we did get to watch  as the carcasses were de-skinned and butchered into convenient take home meat bundles, while chatting with the family and eating coffee and cookies. It was definitely interesting to see how what I would consider a scene out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was completely normal for everyone there.  I felt like I was at a Fourth of July bbq, except there were 4 really large dismembered animals laying around. Old men and women chatted with each other and played cards, babies were passed around and little boys ran around with the discarded hooves tied to strings like your typical family reunion picnic.
Judith and I had a full day planned and eventually it was time to move on to the cave graves at Londa.  There is a practice in Toraja of putting your dead in their coffins in these natural caves. It is considered a special honor, and the higher up your social class the higher up your coffin rests in the cliffs. Of course now, for a small fee, you can crawl through these caves and look and human skulls, femurs, coffins and the offering that families still leave to their dead. After Londa we took a high-speed ojek ride down the mountain to find some food. Ojeks are basically random men who will let you hop on the back of their motorbike for a fee. It’s pretty much one of my favorite things about Indonesia, it would definitely be better if helmets were included, but a little leap of faith goes a long way.
Continuing the weekend’s trend of brilliant strokes of luck, the restaurant that we ended up at  for lunch served pa’piong, a traditional dish of meat and vegetables cooked in a hallowed out piece of  bamboo for 2 hours. Because of the exorbitant cooking time, you have to order it a few hours in advance, so we placed our dinner order and make plans to go back that evening for traditional deliciousness and palm wine. Now Judith had confessed to me that she had never been out after dark. Taking into consideration that Toraja is a malaria region and ridiculously dark at night , I still thought this was a little odd.  Turns out Judith didn’t go far after dark for a reason.
 After 30 minutes on a public SUV, we arrived at Gazebo restaurant for our 7 pm dinner with two other ETAs. The pa’piong was delicious, the palm wine and stories flowed, and 3 hours later we were the last customers in the restaurant. Well as it turns out, the rumor that public transportation doesn’t exist in Toraja is completely true. So here we are, a tiny group of American kids standing in the pitch black on the side of the road in front of the restaurant, trying to hitchhike home. Well the proprietress of the restaurant was not down for this plan of action at all, and insisted on calling her friend who owns a suv to drive us home. It wasn’t until we were careening down rainy curvy mountain roads in total darkness at 87 kilometers per hour that we realized the  our driver and his assistant were the two guys knocking back palm wine with us at the restaurant. Needless to say, I was pretty sure I was going die that night, especially sense everyone insists on removing all seatbelts from vehicles, the better to fit more passengers.  However as shown by this post, I survived my Torajan Halloween and am now back to molding young minds.