I'm sorry but are you old enough to drive?

         My colleagues at school have taken to calling me hitam manis or “black sweetness” as they translate it. Apparently this isn’t a term of endearment my cab driver came up with, but rather a widely acknowledged phrase. They also like to say things like “ you look like President Obama’s daughter!” followed by a chorus of cantik cantik “ beautiful beautiful”. I would find this incredibly offensive  (What, all black people look alike?! Why can’t I just be sweetness, why does it have to be black?!) if

A.)Being called beautiful, even when I’m dripping sweat and there are bags under my eyes, wasn’t an awesome ego boost

B.)They weren’t so sincere

C.) If the whole situation wasn’t so incredibly ridiculous

           In other news I’ve been riding the pedi-pedi a lot more than usual. Pedi-pedi are the Indonesian public transportation du-jour, and for some reason I’m trying to save money.  These little vehicles go all over the city only cost about 3,000 Rp.or about 3 cents per ride. Now imagine a mini-van for tiny people, with all of the seats taken out. Instead of seats they feature little benches that line three walls of the van. Since Makassar is a big fancy city, many of the pedi-pedi feature such gems as disco balls, black lights and giant subwoofers that blast all sorts of music at ear-piercing level. Looking for seatbelts and a functioning door? Sorry those have been removed for efficiencies’ sake.  

        Also I’m pretty sure the average age of the drivers are somewhere between 13 and 17. You think I’m kidding, but I’m completely serious. Also I’m pretty sure most of these adolescent drivers learned their craft by playing hours upon hours of Grand Theft Auto. I also can’t seem to figure out the routes to save my life. As a result, I often end up on the wrong pedi-pedi and a journey that should have taken 30 minutes will end up being an hour and 30 minutes. On the bright side I’m getting a chance to practice my Bahasa Indonesia and I’m becoming more exposed to the Indonesian hairstyle I have deemed the “pullet” or “partial mullet”. A pullet is about 80% business in the front and about 30% party in the back. Think of a rat tail, but thicker and longer. Many of the pedi-pedi drivers I have come in contact with sport this particular style and some sort of Jafar-esque facial hair. If they’re old enough to grow facial hair. I often think about the many ways I could die in this country. Morbid I know, but it makes me feel prepared. The pedi-pedi have moved to the top of the list followed by “hit by a car while walking”, “malaria”, “heat stroke” and “attacked by feral cats”. However, I’m earning mad respect from my security guards, and honestly that’s all that counts.